


Homestuck Shipping Oneshots!

by DippertheShipper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Lol I've got another fanfic I should be working on but oh well, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-15 14:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8059807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DippertheShipper/pseuds/DippertheShipper
Summary: Do you want to read homestuck shipping oneshots? Have you not read the hundreds of other one shot suggest-a-ship style fanfictions? Then you're in luck, because this fanfiction is just right for you!





	1. Preface

Hi there! This is a user prompted collection of homestuck one shots about cute ships! I'm doing this so I can make a name for myself, and get some practice writing.

However! There are some rules! 

Rule #1: No gross ships. This doesn't mean ships that I don't personally like. It means, like, no gross ships. (i.e. Rose/Dave, Bro/John)

Rule #2: These are oneshots. Some of them might suck.

Rule #3: Okay, this one's more of a personal preference, but please be somewhat specific when requesting oneshots. It'll make everyone happier in the long run.

Other than that, ask away!


	2. Goodbye to a World (Dave/Jade)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so nobody wanted any of my one-shots. Okay, okay, that's okay. Guess what? You're getting them anyway.
> 
> (Kinda Lyricstuck for this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2TE0DjdNqI)

“Hey.”

Jade looked up. She felt….. Different somehow. Emptier. More fragmented. More tired.

“Dave?”

It was so good to see a familiar face again. She smiled at Dave, pausing to take in his lovely new god tier outfit, her eyes trailing down from his face to his symbol to-

_ Oh god _

Jade’s breath caught in her throat when she noticed the bleeding wounds in Dave’s chest. They were such an ugly shade of crimson. Still wet. Spreading it’s ugly, ugly, red everywhere.

“Dave…….?” She choked, not able to finish her sentence.

He grabbed Jade, hugging her so very very tightly. Dave started choking on tears, burying his face in Jade’s chest.

“It’s okay. We’re going to be okay.”

“Dave, are we...dead?”

The memories flooded back to Jade. The Condesce, the glitches, the horrible feeling of having your free will wrenched from you. And the death. The horrible, bloody carnage that she herself had caused. She remembered all of it.

“Yeah, I think we are.” Dave said.

Jade began to cry.

Big, heavy tears that rolled down her cheeks and mixed with snot and dirt and blood that she didn’t know was there before. She couldn’t take it.

“Don’t blame yourself.” Dave said, brushing the hair out of Jade’s eyes.

“Dave, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t gone grimdark, wrecked the game, threatened to wreck the game, and gotten in the way of things-”

“If it’s true-If it’s true...Fuck it, I’ll still love you.”

Dave hugged Jade even tighter.

“You’re okay. You aren’t a bad person.” He said.

“Thank you.”


	3. Pitch John/Calliope (plus John/Roxy/Callie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy has been moirails with Calliope for a long time now, but ever since she's started dating John, Calliope hasn't been able to spend as much time with her. One day when she's walking by herself in New Earth, John begins to pester her (so to speak) insisting he has a present for her. Shenanagins ensue.

“Hey. Hey. Hey, Callie.”

Calliope gritted her teeth. “Yes, John?

“I have a present for you! It’s a really great present, trust me. Like, the best present.”

Calliope rolled her eyes. Knowing John, it was likely booby trapped with some sort of shaving cream device.

“John, I do hope this isn’t another ‘Barbasol Surprise’, because if it is-”

“No, no, no! I swear, it isn’t shaving cream. It’s actually super duper amazing. And fun. I put a lot of thought into it, ya know.” He shoved a medium-sized box wrapped in shiny blue paper. “Just sayin’, you should totally open this.”

Knowing John was  _ attempting  _ to be subtle, but failing, Calliope accepted her gift. However he may try, John had one glaring tell: When he got really excited, like if he was about to pull a prank on someone, John started subconsciously floating off the ground, gravity affecting him like he was on the moon rather than New Earth.

“Dear me, John. I do wonder what’s inside.”

Calliope sighed and used her sharp claws to pry open the box.

_ SPROING! _

Out popped two paper snakes, like the kind one might find in a fake jar of peanuts.

“Oh my gosh!” Calliope shrieked, dropping the box in surprise. It was full of… Snakes! Blood rushed to Calliope’s head, and if it weren’t for her thick carapace, she would have turned a vivid shade of green.

“Hahahaha!” John doubled over laughing. Unable to contain his glee, he shot up in the air like a cork, and laughed so hard he accidentally flipped himself over.

“Get it? It’s full of snakes...cause….you turn into snakes...when you..have sex.” John crowed between tears of laughter. 

Fidgeting with her cuff link, Calliope slowly stepped away from the lewd items.

“John!” she said, rather flustered. “I...ugh! I can’t believe you sometimes! That’s so inappropriate!”

Floating down to look her in the eyes, John scowled slightly. “Well, I think it’s hilarious.” He said.

Calliope glanced over again at the offending objects. They were so long, and scaly, and  _ oh my goodness were they touching?! _

Calliope couldn’t help but let out a tiny giggle.

Grinning, John said, “See? I knew you would love it. Now, ‘scuse me, I’ve gotta take Roxy on a romantic tour of New Cantown.”

Before he could fly away, Calliope snatched the tail end of his long hood and yanked him back to the ground.

“Stop just one moment,” Callie said, wagging her finger at John. “I was going to watch a screening of Dave and Karkat’s newest rom-com with Roxy! What ever do you mean by this ‘New Cantown’ business?”

John scoffed. “I’m taking her on a date, dummy. I know you two are pale and everything, but it’s  _ super important _ I get some time with Roxy too. Besides, I’ve had this planned for like a month now.”

Calliope gasped. “How dare you insinuate my time with Roxy isn’t as important as yours!” She shrieked. “Why, I’ve know her longer than you and your rather impractical windsock ever have!”

“Hey,” John said with a frown. “Step off the windsock.”

Calliope stuck her tongue out at John. “Well, it  _ is  _ impractical.”

Just then, Roxy flew in, dressed in a lacy fuchsia dress and all dolled up with makeup.

“Hey guys!” She said cheerily. “What did I miss.”

Folding her arms, Calliope huffed, “I thought we were going to see Dave’s movie together, but John says you two are going on a date!”

“Yeah, Rox! What’s going on!” John said, still bobbing in the air.

Roxy stooped down and gave Calliope a great big hug. Ensconced in Roxy’s arms, Calliope was filled with a nice, fuzzy feeling that warmed her to the core. She had on nice perfume, Calliope noted. 

Still hugging Calliope with one arm, Roxy gently tugged down John’s hood until his face was level with hers, and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

_ FWOOMP! _ John went completely red and fell to the ground like a rock. 

Picking him off the ground and bringing him into the group hug with Calliope, Roxy said, “You guys are so silly sometimes! Dave and Karkat are showing their movie in the city tonight instead of in the park like usual. Both of you knuckleheads are coming with me! Sorry guys, but you can’t escape hanging out with me. Or eachother, for that matter.”

Calliope let out a sigh of relief. “Well, I’m rather glad that’s cleared up! I still find it quite rude that John tried to gift me a… a snake!”

Roxy giggled. “Alrighty folks, we better start heading to New Can Town if we wanna catch the showing and grab some sweet grub.”

Scooping up Calliope, Roxy tied John’s hood around Callie’s waist as a sort of safety rope before taking off with her in her arms.

As they soared through the sky, wind ruffling their hair (or in Callie’s case, her bow tie), John said, 

“You know, I think this might just work out.”


End file.
